Big Brother Jack

Jack turned five just two and a half weeks before Holden was born.  That's a long time of being the only child in this family.  We thought he was adjusting really well to being a big brother, even his teachers said so at the recent parent/teacher conferences.  BUT, for the last couple weeks he has basically quite listening to our directions.  And last Tuesday his teachers said he was "getting kind-of silly" at school, which is Pre-K talk for being naughty.  "He needed a few extra reminders today."  Again, code for your child isn't listening.  So we had many conversations about how important it is to follow directions, and he lost his TV and gaming privileges, with the option to earn back some 10 minute slots of his choice.  Then Wednesday came, and again, we did lots of prep before school to inspire what I hoped would be good behavior.  No dice.  They said he was throwing rocks on the playground. (cue the screaming in my head, and utter embarrassment for having the super naughty kid)  His teachers said they fully believed it was because of his new big brother status, because they did not have problems with him before. 

After asking for tips on facebook, so many of you gave such great ideas.  I think the most important was to exercise grace: both for us and for Jack.  For the first few months Holden was such a high maintenance baby that I really haven't had time to give Jack the attention he needs, and my lack of sleep has led to a lack of patience on my part.  So I told him that if he could get through the whole day Thursday being the sweet boy I know, then Friday morning we would go to the zoo.  He was SO excited, and behaved like a champ on Thursday.  Here's a picture of him enjoying our beautiful morning at the zoo with friends.

In just the few short days of Jay & I intentionally spending special time with Jack, and being more patient, I have seen a huge improvement in his attitude.  I also spent some time highlighting all the great advantages of being the big brother.  His favorite is that when Holden has his own kids, that Jack will be "Uncle Jack."  It's all very exciting for him.  Now if I can just keep it up!