A Perfect Storm

I have always had friends from all different walks of life.  In high school, I would say I had friends from all different groups.  Even now, I have a friend who is a bazillionare, and friends struggling through bankruptcy.  I'm incredibly conservative, and somehow most of my friends are liberals.  For the most part, this suits me just fine. I'm old enough and smart enough to know that you never fully know what is going on behind closed doors; financially or emotionally.

So today, I was caught off guard when I read through a friend's account of Mother's day, and it threw me into a tailspin of jealousy.  See below--

This was not a brief passing stab of jealousy that slices for a moment and then fades back into all the other things you vaguely wish were different in the course of a day.  This was jealousy like a house fire, something you absolutely cannot ignore and something that might send you to the emergency room.  I could feel my eyes becoming small and beady and my soul shrinking down to a tiny wrinkled peach pit.  (Cold Tangerines, by Shauna Niequist)

I'm pretty sure my soul did shrink into a wrinkled peach pit.  It really was the crazy, all consuming kind of jealousy, that made me call my mom practically in tears.  Maybe I should tell you that "it didn't occur" to my husband to wish me a happy Mother's day.  He had given me these beautiful flowers earlier in the week, and I guess he thought he had his bases covered. 

So to say that my Mother's day was low-key would be putting it mildly. HER day was beyond amazing, like Mother's day on crack. 

My mom and I used to play a game when we would drive by a fancy house, or see someone strikingly beautiful, and say,"I bet they're not happy."  Teasing, of course.  But here's the thing.  I think SHE really is happy. 

It basically comes down to me being a brat.  I have two of the most adorable children, a husband that loves me, two parents that are still alive, and I actually really like my mother-in-law; overall, an incredibly fortunate life.  It was just a perfect storm of events that wouldn't allow me to be as happy for HER as I should have been.

Then I got the mail.  A far-away friend sent me the most beautiful, sincere, kind-hearted card.  I believe God is in the details, and His timing is perfect.  I don't think He just cares about the big things, like cancer and infertility.  I know He cares for me when I'm being a brat and stomping around the imaginary house in my head.  God's perfect timing was made evident in the mail!  I'm still working through my silly self-pity, but I'm thankful for my friends who love me anyway.