Our Children and Sex Offenders

Gross.  Sex offenders are not a topic that anyone enjoys, but nonetheless necessary.  As a parent, there are a lot of things you do that are uncomfortable, because that's what is best for your child.  It starts with cleaning the poop that's been smashed up the back of their shirt, to conversations about death and divorce.  It reminds me of the abstinence talks I heard so many times growing up in the Baptist youth group.  You need to have a plan, and know what you're going to do before you are in the situation.  If we, as parents, do not empower our children with appropriate information, how can we protect them?


Angelica, from Modern Familia, wrote a post this week explaining how she fosters awareness of sexual predators with her children.  I even loved her introduction:

Life during childhood is not always pretty.  And as much as we want to protect our children, the reality is that they need to learn to protect themselves as well.  When it comes to sexual abuse, the offender can be ANYONE, women and men included.  And, it is a well-known fact that most sex offenders are people who know the child well, or at least has some relationship with the child.

I will spare you of the statistics on sexual abuse, misconduct, and inappropriate behaviors towards children.  I do want to clarify, however, that sexual abuse includes a wide range of behaviors, from sexually-inappropriate comments, insinuations, jokes, and touching, to the sexual behaviors most people think about when they hear sexual abuse.

She writes on to list the 10 ways she addresses the topic with her kids, providing examples for each one.  Here is what she suggests.

1. I clearly define what are their private areas
2. I avoid cutesy names for their private areas
3. I clearly tell my children who can shower them and help clean their private areas
4. I clearly define what is an inappropriate or sexual behavior
5. I Point out other sexually inappropriate behaviors
6. I remind my children that anyone can be an offender
7. I talk to my kids about sexual abuse just as another day-to-day conversation
8. I check in with my kids from time to time
9. I describe the common scenarios of sexual abuse in children
10. I discuss the tactics sexual offenders use to scare their victims

I know I don't do each of these with my boys, but I'm on the right track.  If nothing else, Angelica's post reminds me to put this back on my intentional parenting radar.  For example, today I talked to my oldest son about who can clean his private areas, while I helped him shower.  No big deal.  Easy!  

What do you think of Angelica's list?  I would encourage you to read the whole post before judging.  What did she forget?  Do you think she goes too far?  Do you speak regularly and casually about sexual abuse with your child?  Did your parents discuss this with you?

Thank you, Angelica for bringing this topic to the surface!