E to the Ezzo

My friend, Andrea, recently sent me an email because she noticed I was letting    Holden cry in his crib, and asked me if I had any sleep tips.  I'm in no way the authority on how to get your baby to sleep!  But if you want to hear what worked in our family--read on.

After Jack was born I was so overwhelmed.  I wish there was a bigger world than overwhelmed, but for now that will have to suffice.  Not only was I consumed by the physical pain of postpartum, but I felt like I could never do anything because I was terrified that I would leave the house and he'd be hungry, or need to sleep, because we were always flying by the seat of our pants.

Finally, when he was about five or six weeks old, I bought Babywise, written by Ezzo and Bucknam.  It flipped our whole house up-side down, in a good way.

I should warn you, that if you're looking for a book on attachment parenting, and co-sleeping, then this is not for you.  There are basically two different parenting methods: child-directed, and parent-directed.  Babywise advocates the parent directed, scheduled feedings, and getting your baby on an "eat-play-sleep" schedule.  The goal, is that you are the one leading the day and not your child.  They assert that the eat-play-sleep cycle helps your baby to sleep through the night sooner.  You are training your baby to  sleep on their own. And when they are old enough, you do let them "cry it out."

We've been doing eat-play-sleep since Holden was a newborn.  But because he was so tiny (and usually cold) I let him sleep on my chest for most of the first six weeks.  I recently started putting him in his crib to get him used to it, and I haven't let him cry for more than 10 minutes before consoling him.  I think sometime in his third month I'll let him cry until he sleeps.  (You can always go in and calm them down, and let them start over.)

Here's why I love this method:

1) Although some people say "I'm too laid back for this, and we'll just go with the flow," I thought that this empowered me to go with the flow because I always knew what was coming.  I could go to the grocery store, because I knew he wouldn't need to eat again for a couple hours. 

2) I believe that having a healthy marriage is a great gift you can give your children.  (Please don't read that I'm saying Jay and I have a perfect marriage)  This method makes it easier for others care for your child, so you can have time alone, together.  Because we were not feeding, rocking, or holding Jack to sleep, it made leaving him with a caregiver much easier.

3)  Jack loved to go to sleep.  He would crawl to the stairs as a toddler at nap time, because he knew it was time for sleeping.  I believe this is because of how we went about sleep.

However:
1) Some people think this method is controversial, and that a loving parent would never let their baby cry, alone in their crib.  Regardless, Jay and I still believe that we are giving both of our children the gift of sleep.
2)  If your baby is hungry--feed him!  If it's before the specific time to eat, and they're hungry anyway, it's O.K..  Just take what works for you from the book, and trust your gut for the rest.
3)  I recommend connecting with a mom who has gone through this before to help you with questions as they come up.  Not every baby knows they're supposed to sleep for 90 minutes according to the book. :-)

What sleeping methods work for your family?  Why did you choose that route?

**This is not a post against attachment parenting and/or co-sleeping.  What works for one family may not work for another.**